Pizza Imperfect

The 5000 other scooters that were just here?  Dammit, I missed 'em.  :)

Read the name tag.  :)

Planet Janet

Black Card (Premium) Member #8 at the Smyrna Planet Witless, opening late September, 2014, just a mile away from me on Nissan Drive. Gotta have the sticker to win goodies.  :)

1P1P: No-One-Cares Bear

It's a bit Creepshow, really. Enhanced with Google photo editing tools, of course.

1P1P: Awesome Young Babes & Tommy Chong

Tommy buys vinyl here, a lot. Or rolling trays. It's all good.

So many hotties and hipsters, almost all under 30, flow through this corridor on 8th Ave S.  Two beautiful, astounding young ladies (college shoppers?) asked me if a cafe next door was open. One of my scooter coots spoke up, saying it was a bar (I didn't know!). They then asked for suggestions, so I sidled up and recommended Cafe Coco, if they wanted eclectic yet inexpensive fare, and awesome people-watching. They liked that idea, so I gave directions.

Wanda Has A Watchcat

Scofflaws and would-be-ne'er-do-wells be-freakin'-WARE!
.

ALWAYS Watch Your Six!

I don't even wanna look for a flickr photo for this... it's fresh, and the blood is pounding in my head.

I'm coming back from a late dinner, and I live on a stretch of 5-lane (2 each, center turn) that's a 45MPH limit. A block past my house is a traffic signal, so traffic tends to speed and slow right in front of the house in a constant wave; lots of traffic, almost all the time.

So, I'm in the right lane, ready to turn right into my driveway. I have plenty of time between me and the car following to do this without impeding traffic in any way. Suddenly, the asshole in the left  lane beside me decides that lane's not moving fast enough (many left turns both before and at the aforementioned light), and guns it to get inches off my rear tire JUST as I'm about to turn.

I punched the throttle wide open, straight ahead, and started quickly pulsing my brakes to let the asshole know I was at least planning on slowing down. I got a block up the street, and pulled into the first safe spot to my right that I could find, which was a driveway apron to a condemned building. "Yes, motherfucker, you almost killed me!" I screamed as they whizzed by, and I sat waiting for my heart to go back down in my chest, and for traffic to subside so I could do a u-turn back to the house.

PLEASE, keep an eye on your mirrors EVERY TIME you have to slow down, no matter the reason. It could be a life or death decision.

The Mysteriously Tipsy Wanda

Not such a mystery, as of this afternoon.

The small indention at the top, left-of-center?  One leg of Wanda's center stand made that.

The HOLE in the center?  GOPHERS.

Fuck, I'm awash in critters, here.

Wanda Down

Winds must've picked up, last night. Coffee and shower first, then to survey the damages...

NObody Expects!

... the Spanish Inquisition to get a hornet caught between their face and the helmet.

Keep yer visors down, folx.

No One Cared About The Bling Bear

... and winter has not been kind to it. I will now share its location with you, so that you may pay homage, show your friends and/or dress it up with additional decorations of your own devising.

If you noticed that URL, you may also like http://scoot.to/nashville, http://scoot.to/wanda and http://scoot.to/kymco .

When Animals Attack!

Yes, I was very nearly mauled by a rabid, wild turkey. A tom. As I was riding home, tonight.

He was on the sidewalk on Harding Place, in front of Frugal McDoogal's (dunno why -- this is a mile from the airport). He saw me moving slowly in heavy traffic on the scoot, and just copped a major attitude. Damn, I wish someone would have videoed it. He stepped right off the sidewalk and made a beeline for me. Traffic moved just fast enough to keep me out of weapons range, but I started to worry that I might slam into the back of that white Dodge Caliber in front of me while watching this fowl beast running after me, right up the middle of the right, westbound lane of Harding Place @ I-24. Again, LMFAO, all the while.

No, silly -- I know birds can't carry rabies... do you think I'm a total dumbass? Still, this shit happened, and I LMFAO. One for the books, I tell ya.

UPDATE: Believe it.



Which leads me to want to play a joke on my scootnashville pals, just to see which of them reads this here blog. Next time you greet me, you better say, "gobble, gobble!"

Stupid Google Tricks

Google now has this crazy thing where, if you auto-upload photos & videos, it will sometimes do something called "auto-awesome" to them, and then notify you of its little mash-up project using your files. Here, it took a few shots that I took a year ago+, and stitched together a faux-panoramic composition. So, here we see Ed and Ed-Prime (one has a goatee), and Dan's hover-Reflex.  :)

D'maged

Bastids knock'd Wanda over, Friday night. WTF?!

Gonna need some plastic.